"Liar! Why are you telling now?" Reasons your daughter didn't tell you #sexabuse

Why Silence?
Why must she be silenced?
Does her voice echo you into bondage?
Or does her voice set future generations free?
Breaking generation curses you see
Does she remind you of you and what you could be
Or does she remind you of your pain that you never acknowledged with in thee?
does she cause you not to understand her ability?
Does she make you question who you are because you couldn't speak up?
Or does she unlock something deep within you that you forgot?
~La'Sage Moselle

Did she really ask for it?

1. See this outfit can say, “I want to be wanted” “look at me” See the point could be to show as much skin as possible to turn you on.  To make you want me.  There are men and women who are only turned on by enticement like this…but there is another part of the population ruled by egotistical control by any means necessary.
2. If you went out in public, society would say “oh, she is looking for attention” "she deserved it” “she was asking for it” “she wanted that to happen”
​

3. There would be a very miniscule part of the population that would say “she shouldn’t be able to wear what she wants and embrace her sexiness without pervs seeking to violate her!” “or "why does what she wears matter? A man should be able to control his own body parts!”
4. THERE IS A DIVIDE HERE

 

1. But what do you say when she is NOT dressed provocatively?
   1. “She shouldn’t have been by herself?” or “she should have screamed for help” or some may even say “she shouldn’t have fought so hard, maybe he wouldn’t have hurt her the way he did.”
   2. The other part of society would say “she shouldn’t have to worry about being by herself, we should feel protected when we go out of our homes, these men need to be locked up and the key thrown away!”
2. But what about children, innocent children?  They didn’t have to wear anything enticing…their innocence and ability to seem powerless was enticing enough. 
   1. It may seem majority rules that he should be put to death, that if it were their child they would be willing to go to jail than to let this molester remain alive.
   2. But what about the SILENT majority, and I am now speaking impartially to the black community here… “oh, she/he shouldn’t speak up about that, it could shame the family”
   3. “we don’t talk about that”
   4. “Let’s not talk to her, we don’t want her to ruin the family”
   5. “We don’t talk about that”
   6.  “That’s my father, son, brother, husband, favorite uncle, granddaddy, boyfriend, he would never do such a thing.”
   7. “See she/he can’t even remember everything why should we believe her?”
   8. “she/he just wants attention”
   9. “she/has always acted out, we know this is just another one of her things”
   10. “is it wrong for me to believe my son? Father? Uncle? Brother? Grandfather? Friend? Husband? Boyfriend?
   11. “she is just talking just to hear herself talk”
   12. “She is fast anyway”
   13. “she’s telling now cause he’s dead, and he can’t tell the real story”
   14. “why is she waiting until now, cause he’s dead and he can’t tell the real story”
   15. “why is she waiting until now?”
   16. "She is bipolar”
   17. “She is skitzo”
   18. "You know she ain’t got it all”
   19. “she is trying to destroy our lives!”

And so on and so on….

1. But notice majority are quick to blame the victim. 
   1. The lack the understanding to say well maybe that’s why she acts out the way she does.
   2. They also lack the capability of emotionally supporting the child or now adult because they themselves did not have it.
   3. They lack the vision for their families after such tragedy
   4. They lack the ability to handle it.
   5. And don’t let the family come into money or are being fully supported by the perpetrator they lack the strength to recover.
   6. They fear a tainted image, I mean being black is bad enough, right?

 

1. The real problem in the black community is not merely economics, it is also molestation and incest.  This is rarely talked about. 
   1. See 1 in every 4 black women have been sexually abused by a black man and it's usually by a trusted family member, a family friend or authoritative figure. 
   2. Sexual abuse victims may not even remember the abuse after a while because they took unnecessary responsibility for the perpetrators actions and/or they don’t want the family to blame them for breaking them up.  Or they consciously lack the understanding that something inappropriate happened, but it still registers in their psyche and is embedded in the subconscious memory, our soul knows when something is not right and it’s something we don’t give enough credit to. Our minds oftentimes protect us from having the conscious memory of a trauma until we can actually deal with it.
   3. Bits and pieces may plague their memory upon growing up that they can’t piece together until a serious healing is requested.  Some may never recover.

 

1. The results of this now woman is that she doesn’t trust authority.  She doesn’t trust men; therefore, she doesn’t respect men of authoritative figures.  Sometimes believes the world is out to get her.  She may not even trust women due to not feeling protected by her mom, or feeling shamed by her mom, so she may be one of the ones that say “I don’t do female friends, I have associates” She may not allow herself to really get close to people.  She has low self-worth but may be so beautiful.  She self-sabotages and so on and so on.
   • These are the single mothers raising our kids, these single mothers often feel that they lack true control, recreating that childhood or adolescent experience and applying it inappropriately. It turns into often physical or emotional abuse and in extreme cases sexual abuse towards their own children, often feeling that’s the only way to get the children to be under control.  They often say, “spare the rod spoil the child” all while using sticks, extension cords and the metal part of the belts to prove their point.  They probably won’t spare the most cutting words possible to break down your psyche so that you can know that they are the parent and you are the child disguised as discipline and getting the child to respect them.
   • This cycle turns into a generation of hurt children secretly despising women of color, often unknowingly, the boys turn into grown, often unforgiving men unable to have healthy relationships with the black woman.  Often seeing them as a come up and then ditching them for another race that has not betrayed their psyche, or they may love black women but can’t figure out how to emotionally and physically support them so they in turn become abusive emotionally or physically, repeating the cycle. 
   • This in turn causes us all to be mentally jacked up before healing takes place, functioning yet dysfunctional human beings, carrying the burdens of our generations before us.

The reason this generation is so rebellious is because we are tired, we are tired of sweeping stuff under the rug, making excuses, blaming the victim, and self-sabotaging our lives where we could claim our abundance!  We can be a catalyst for future generations, no longer silencing the young but allowing them to speak up and actually learning how to be the things generations before us didn’t know how to be. 


I know that some fear the small chance that the girl could be lying…I will talk more about this in my next post, stay tuned…

---